This one is all too funny and can be applied to your choice of industries.

FORCE REDUCTION PLAN

REF/A/MSG/CMC WASHINGTON DC/112215ZFEB2010//

REF/B/MSG/USMC WASHINGTON DC/082055ZAPR2010

REF/C/DOC/DFAS-HQ/01AUG2010//

SUBJECT: USMC FORCE REDUCTION PLAN

NARR/REF A IS MARADMIN 032/10. REF B IS MARADMIN GUIDANCE. REF C IS DJMS PROCEDURES TRAINING GUIDE (PTG). REF D IS OPNAVINST 1160.6A.REF E IS MILPERSMAN (NAVPERS 15560C).

1. AS A RESULT OF SENATE PROPOSED FORCE REDUCTIONS AND BUDGET CUTS THE HEADQUARTERS MARINE CORPS HAS DEVELOPED A PROGRAM TO REDUCE THE NUMBER OF ACTIVE DUTY PERSONNEL. THIS PROGRAM IS UNDER TEST PHASE AND WILL BE EFFECTIVE 1 JANUARY 2012. UNDER THIS NEW PROGRAM, OLDER MARINES WILL BE ASKED TO GO ON EARLY RETIREMENT, THUS PERMITTING THE RETENTION OF THE YOUNGER MARINES WHO REPRESENT THE FUTURE. THEREFORE, THIS PROGRAM WILL PHASE OUT OLDER MARINES BY THE END OF THE FY 2012.

2. THIS INITIAL PHASE OF THE PROGRAM WILL BE KNOWN AS SERVICEMAN’S LATE-AGED PROGRAM (SLAP). MARINES WHO ARE SLAPPED WILL BE GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO LOOK FOR JOBS OUTSIDE THE MARINE CORPS.

3. SLAPPED MARINES CAN REQUEST A REVIEW OF THEIR PERSONNEL RECORDS BEFORE ACTUAL RETIREMENT TAKES PLACE. THIS PHASE OF THE PROGRAM IS CALLED SURVEY OF CAPABILITIES OF RETIRED EARLY WORKERS (SCREW). ALL MARINES WHO HAVE BEEN SLAPPED OR SCREWED MAY FILE AN APPEAL WITH THEIR CHAIN OF COMMAND WITH FINAL AUTHORITY AT HQMC MMEA. THIS IS CALLED STUDY BY HIGHER AUTHORITY FOLLOWING TERMINATION (SHAFT).

4. UNDER THE TERMS OF THE NEW POLICY, A MARINE MAY BE SLAPPED ONCE, SCREWED TWICE, BUT MAY BE SHAFTED AS MANY TIMES AS HQMC DEEMS APPROPRIATE. IF A MARINE FOLLOWS THE ABOVE PROCEDURES, HE/SHE WILL BE ENTITLED TO GET HALF EARNINGS FOR RETIRED PERSONNEL’S EARLY SEVERANCE (HERPES) OR COMBINED LUMP-SUM ASSISTANCE PAYMENT (CLAP), UNLESS HE/SHE ALREADY HAS ADDITIONAL INCOME FROM DEPENDENTS OR SPOUSE (AIDS).

5. AS HERPES AND CLAP ARE CONSIDERED BENEFIT PLANS, ANY MARINE WHO HAS RECEIVED HERPES OR CLAP WILL NO LONGER BE SLAPPED OR SCREWED BY THE MARINE CORPS.

6. THE MARINE CORPS WISHES TO ASSURE THE YOUNGER MARINES WHO REMAIN ON BOARD, THAT THE MARINE CORPS WILL CONTINUE IT’S POLICY OF TRAINING MARINES THROUGH OUR SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (SHIT). THE MARINE CORPS TAKES PRIDE IN THE AMOUNT OF SHIT OUR MARINES CAN RECEIVE. OUR MARINES TAKE MORE SHIT THAN ANY OTHER SERVICE. IF ANY MARINE FEELS THEY DO NOT RECEIVE ENOUGH SHIT AT THEIR CURRENT BASE, SEE YOUR IMMEDIATE SUPERVISOR.

Damn fine joke.

The Semper Fi Moment

President Obama got off the helicopter in front of the White House, carrying a baby piglet under each arm.

The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes and says:”Nice pigs, sir.”

The President replies: “These are not pigs… these are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, and I got one for Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.”

The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, salutes and says, “Excellent trade, sir.”

… consult the book of armaments.

The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch…………  seen here.

Well here is the current quiz meme making the rounds.  Give it a try.

I have to say that I was relatively please with the results.

Ok, I lifted this one whole from Stormbringer. It was too good to pass up, even if the Arizona part is really from a true story about Rick Perry, the Gov. of Texas.

CALIFORNIA

The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out, bites the Governor and attacks his dog.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural.

2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures coyote and bills the State $2000 testing it for diseases and $5000 for relocating it.

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $2500 testing it for diseases.

4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $35,000 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $1,000,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.

6. The Governor spends $500,000 in state funds implementing a “Coyote Awareness” program for residents of the area.

7. The State Legislature spends $20 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

8. The Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack somehow and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene.

9. Additional cost to State of California: $125,000 to hire and train a new security agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

10. PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files suit against the State.

ARIZONA

The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.35 on a .380 hollow point cartridge.

2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that’s why California is broke.

Today is the retirement ceremony of Gen. McChrystal.  In honor of this event, I will share a little resume comparison that is making the rounds:

Here we have a look at two different resumes:

General McChrystal Biography
Commander, International Security Assistance Force/
Commander, United States Forces Afghanistan
United States Army

SOURCE OF COMMISSIONED SERVICE: USMA EDUCATIONAL DEGREES
United States Military Academy – BS – No Major
United States Naval War College – MA – National Security and Strategic Studies
Salve Regina University – MS – International Relations

MILITARY SCHOOLS ATTENDED:
Infantry Officer Basic and Advanced Courses
United States Naval Command and Staff College
Senior Service College Fellowship Harvard University

FOREIGN LANGUAGES:
Spanish

PROMOTIONS DATE OF APPOINTMENT:
2LT 2 Jun 76
1LT 2 Jun 78
CPT 1 Aug 80
MAJ 1 Jul 87
LTC 1 Sep 92
COL 1 Sep 96
BG 1 Jan 01
MG 1 May 04
LTG 16 Feb 06
GEN 11 Jun 09

FROM TO ASSIGNMENT:
Nov 76 Feb 78 Weapons Platoon Leader, C Company, 1st Battalion, 504th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 82d Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, North Carolina

Feb 78 Jul 78 Rifle Platoon Leader, C Company, 1st Battalion, 504th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 82d Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, North Carolina
Jul 78 Nov 78 Executive Officer, C Company, 1st Battalion, 504th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 82d Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, North Carolina

Nov 78 Apr 79 Student, Special Forces Officer Course, Special Forces School, Fort Bragg, North Carolina

Apr 79 Jun 80 Commander, Detachment A, A Company, 1st Battalion, 7th Special Forces Group (Airborne), Fort Bragg, North Carolina

Jun 80 Feb 81 Student, Infantry Officer Advanced Course, United States Army Infantry School, Fort Benning, Georgia

Feb 81 Mar 82 S2/S3 (Intelligence/Operations), United Nations Command Support Group Joint Security Area, Korea

Mar 82 Nov 82 Training Officer, Directorate of Plans and Training, A Company, Headquarters Command, Fort Stewart, Georgia

Nov 82 Sep 84 Commander, A Company, 3d Battalion, 19th Infantry, 24th Infantry Division (Mechanized), Fort Stewart, Georgia

Sep 84 Sep 85 S3 (Operations), 3d Battalion, 19th Infantry, 24th Infantry Division (Mechanized), Fort Stewart, Georgia

Sep 85 Jan 86 Liaison Officer, 3d Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment, Fort Benning, Georgia

Jan 86 May 87 Commander, A Company, 3d Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment, Fort Benning, Georgia

May 87 Apr 88 Liaison Officer, 3d Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment, Fort Benning, Georgia

Apr 88 Jun 89 S3 (Operations), 3d Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment, Fort Benning, Georgia

Jun 89 Jun 90 Student, Command and Staff Course, United States Naval War College, Newport, Rhode Island

Jun 90 Apr 93 Army Special Operations Action Officer, J3, Joint Special Operations Command, Fort Bragg, North Carolina and OPERATIONS DESERT SHIELD/STORM, Saudi Arabia

Apr 93 Nov 94 Commander, 2d Battalion, 504th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 82d Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, North Carolina

Nov 94 Jun 96 Commander, 2d Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment, Fort Lewis, Washington

Jun 96 Jun 97 Senior Service College Fellowship, John F. Kennedy School of Government, Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts

Jun 97 Aug 99 Commander, 75th Ranger Regiment, Fort Benning, Georgia

Aug 99 Jun 00 Military Fellow, Council on Foreign Relations, New York, New York

Jun 00 Jun 01 Assistant Division Commander (Operations), 82d Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, North Carolina to include duty as Commander, Combined Joint Task Force Kuwait, Camp Doha, Kuwait

Jun 01 Jul 02 Chief of Staff, XVIII Airborne Corps and Fort Bragg, Fort Bragg, North Carolina to include duty as Chief of Staff, Combined Joint Task Force180, OPERATION ENDURING FREEDOM, Afghanistan

Jul 02 Sep 03 Vice Director for Operations, J3, The Joint Staff, Washington, DC

Sep 03 Feb 06 Commanding General, Joint Special Operations Command, Fort Bragg, North Carolina

Feb 06 Jun 08 Commander, Joint Special Operations Command/Commander, Joint Special Operations Command Forward, United States Special Operations Command, Fort Bragg, North Carolina

Aug 08 Jun 09 Director, The Joint Staff, Washington, DC

Jun 09 Present Commander, International Security Assistance Force/Commander, United States Forces Afghanistan, OPERATION ENDURING FREEDOM, Afghanistan

SUMMARY OF JOINT ASSIGNMENTS:
S2/S3 (Intelligence/Operations), United Nations Command Support Group Joint Security Area, Korea (Feb 81-Mar 82, Captain)

Army Special Operations Action Officer, J3, Joint Special Operations Command, Fort Bragg, North Carolina and OPERATIONS DESERT SHIELD/STORM, Saudi Arabia Jun 90-Apr 93 Major/Lieutenant Colonel)

Chief of Staff, XVIII Airborne Corps and Fort Bragg, Fort Bragg, North Carolina to include duty as Chief of Staff, Combined Joint Task Force180, OPERATION ENDURING FREEDOM, Afghanistan (Jun 01-Jul 02, Brigadier General)

Vice Director for Operations, J3, The Joint Staff, Washington, DC (Jul 02-Sep 03, Brigadier General)

Commanding General, Joint Special Operations Command, Fort Bragg, North Carolina (Sep 03-Feb 06, Brigadier General/Major General)

Commander, Joint Special Operations Command/Commander, Joint Special Operations
Command Forward, United States Special Operations Command, Fort Bragg, North Carolina (Feb 06-Jun 08, Major General/Lieutenant General)

Director, The Joint Staff, Washington, DC (Aug 08-Jun 09, Lieutenant General)
Commander, International Security Assistance Force/Commander, United States Forces Afghanistan, OPERATION ENDURING FREEDOM, Afghanistan (Jun 09-Present, General)

SUMMARY OF OPERATIONS ASSIGNMENTS DATE GRADE
Army Special Operations Action Officer, J3, Joint Special Operations Command, OPERATIONS DESERT SHIELD/STORM, Saudi Arabia (Jun 90-Mar 91, Major)

Commander, Combined Joint Task Force Kuwait, Camp Doha, Kuwait (Apr 01-Jun 01, Brigadier General)
Chief of Staff, Combined Joint Task Force180, OPERATION ENDURING FREEDOM, Afghanistan (May 02-Jul 02, Brigadier General)

Commander, International Security Assistance Force/Commander, United States Forces Afghanistan, OPERATION ENDURING FREEDOM, Afghanistan (Jun 09- Present, General)

US DECORATIONS AND BADGES:
Defense Distinguished Service Medal
Defense Superior Service Medal (with Oak Leaf Cluster)
Legion of Merit (with 2 Oak Leaf Clusters)
Bronze Star Medal
Defense Meritorious Service Medal
Meritorious Service Medal (with 3 Oak Leaf Clusters)
Army Commendation Medal
Army Achievement Medal
Expert Infantryman Badge
Master Parachutist Badge
Ranger Tab
Special Forces Tab
Joint Chiefs of Staff Identification Badge

_________________________________________________________________

President Obama Biography:
Education:  Columbia University, Harvard Law School.  Records never produced, attendance remains questionable.
Military Career:  None
Business Career:  None
Author:  Two autobiographies
Political Career:
Community organizer, Chicago, 1983-86
civil rights attorney, Chicago, 1991-96
University of Chicago, lecturer, early 1990s-2004
Illinois State Senator, 1996-2005
U.S. Senator, 2005-2008; President 2008-.

____________________________________________________________________

OMG, The wrong guy resigned!

One of the things about the internet is that there are so many users, with so many opinions that discussions become widespread and interesting.  A recurring theme that has shown up is “Manliness”.  There are all kinds of theories and discussions that show up out there, and I find it fairly entertaining.  In the last couple of days this topic cropped up again.

It started with a piece that set off a chain that I picked up at “Say Uncle”.  His general point is…

Seems about once every year or so some blogger mentions the end of men, real men, manly men or whatever. Or talks about the pussification of men. Men and women both do this. The former do it in a woe is me sort of way that other men aren’t manly like they remember men being. And the latter tend to do so lamenting they can’t seem to find a real man or how equality ain’t all it’s cracked up to be and, gosh darn it, they want a cowboy to sweep them off their feet. Yet, all they run into are best buds who take them shopping.

The latest one I’ve run across is this piece, wherein our heroine asserts she may have married the last manly man. A new twist on an old classic. And I can sympathize.

Except that it’s nonsense. Manly men, real men, etc. are everywhere. They’re out working in their yard now; at the office; working on a car; playing with kids; teaching a dog to fetch a beer; getting manicures; or where ever else. Yeah, that’s right. Getting manicures. A lot of folks seem to think there are certain lists of specific behaviors that indicate what is and isn’t a real man. That’s also ludicrous. Personal grooming preferences make you no less a manly man than drinking beer, farting and scratching your ass make you more of a man. Real men are still there but perceptions have changed. Social roles have changed. Men may or may not be the primary breadwinner and that doesn’t make them more or less a man. And men now take a far more active role in childcare. Hell, that definitely makes them more of a man. Being a real man or manly man is more about stepping up or down when you have to.

Then you start to get the discussion threads that go with this.  Michael Bane covered it in a nice concise couple of paragraphs.

Nice post over at Say Uncle (clink the post’s title to get to the link) on the flurry of posts about the disappearance of “real men.” His take — it’s all B-S. My take? He’s right. Out here in the rural west, we never much bought into the post-macho metrosexual sensitive to the point of tears paradigm for men. We work for a living. Times are too darn scary to be overcome with nonsense angst.

Male or female, I really like the abbreviated version of The Cowboy Way as a handy way to orient one’s life — “If it ain’t yours, don’t take it; if it ain’t true, don’t say it; if it ain’t right, don’t do it.” Covers most of the things that happen in life, doesn’t it?

But I think that the best comment that I have seen so far comes as:

What kinda men sit around and analyze what is manly? Oh, I know. Girly Men…

Over at Home on The Range, Brigid has another one of her lists up.  An ecclectic selection of quotations and pithy  sayings that will cause you to ponder, and laugh.  Gibe it a read.

Another one of those cool internet gadgets to characterize yourself by.  Interesting results.

I write like
Dan Brown

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

For today’s lesson we turn once again to the wisdom of Barkley.  In clear and concise terms, Barkley explains socialism in a nutshell and provides you with his opinion of socialist politicians.  Go Read it.